His Texas Bride Page 4

  “She was lonely,” Ellie said sadly, but her gaze shot fierce daggers at Buck, leaving him no doubt where she placed the blame for his mother’s circumstances. “That was a big old house for her to live in all by herself. She ran her business single-handedly until the day she sold out to a neighbor, but it wasn’t because she was too frail, as you put it.”

  Buck frowned. Ellie just had to rub it in that he hadn’t had a close relationship with his own mother. He felt guilty enough without her adding her opinion on the matter.

  “It was only when she became ill,” Ellie continued, “that Mama Esther needed special care.”

  “She couldn’t be out on her own,” Larry added in a businesslike monotone, that Buck thought might have carried just a hint of a judgmental quality to it.

  What was it with everyone today? They couldn’t just mind their own business?

  “Why didn’t I know about any of this?” Buck demanded, feeling repeated sharp-edged stabs of guilt with every word Ellie and Larry said.

  “Again, Buck, your mother wanted to tell you in person,” Ellie reiterated. “And everything happened so fast, with the illness and all. We were all completely focused on Mama Esther. Everything else had to wait.”

  “Someone should have called me,” Buck ground out through clenched teeth. “I should have known.”

  “You’re right,” Ellie agreed softly, though still with an edge to her tone. “Someone should have called you. I should have called you. But it was against Mama Esther’s wishes for me to do so, and I simply couldn’t bring myself to deceive her in any way, not even for you.”

  Buck groaned. From the clipped way she spoke, barely holding back her emotions, he knew she meant especially not for him. “No property, then.”

  The money Mama had received from the sale of the assets had no doubt gone to cover her medical expenses—maybe even a Christian charity or two, knowing his mother. Buck saw his dream of owning a horse ranch floating right out the window, but he was more heartbroken by the fact that he hadn’t been there for his mother when she needed him. She hadn’t even told him she was ill.

  And all because of his pride.

  “Actually,” Larry interceded, breaking into Buck’s thoughts, “that isn’t precisely true. You do own property, Buck, just not the ranch you grew up on.”

  “What?” Buck thought he might be squawking again, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never been more bewildered in his life, and on top of the roiling emotions he was feeling, the mental turmoil was almost more than one man could endure.

  Guilt piled on guilt for the way he had treated his mother.

  For the way he had treated Ellie.

  “Your mother used the money from the sale of your childhood home to invest in another property—a working ranch,” Larry explained.

  A working ranch?

  Buck straightened a little at that news. He was the owner of a working ranch?

  Except that it didn’t make any sense. Keeping Buck’s childhood home a working ranch had been the subject of his argument with his mother twenty years ago. If Mama had yielded, wouldn’t it have been for her own son?

  Although after the way he’d acted, he guessed he wouldn’t blame his mother for writing him off. Still. The pieces didn’t fit together to make any kind of clear picture. “My mother wasn’t interested in working our ranch, and she certainly wouldn’t have been capable of working a new one.”

  Larry nodded gravely. “That is true. Your mother never worked the new holdings herself. At the moment, the ranch is, er, being leased out to another party.”

  “I see,” Buck said, a plan beginning to form in his mind. This wasn’t so bad. Having tenants currently leasing the ranch wouldn’t make his dream impossible—just a little bit more of a hassle. The end result would be no different than his original plan—sell the ranch, take the money and run.

  “So there are people renting my place,” Buck asked, fighting hard to keep the excitement from showing, not wanting to look callous in front of Ellie.

  “In effect,” Larry answered, flashing a brief, troubled glance at Ellie, which Buck did not miss.

  What were they were keeping between themselves?

  Whatever it was, it was clearly deeply bothering both of them, and neither of them would make eye contact with Buck, though he switched his questioning gaze back and forth between the two of them several times. Ellie pushed herself off the table and began pacing in back of Buck’s chair.

  “So I’ll just give the renters a realistic notice, or offer to sell to them, if they want. In any case, I can sell that property,” said Buck. “I don’t want to be unreasonable about it, but I have things I need to do elsewhere. How quickly do you think you can wrap this up, Larry?”

  “Well, there’s the matter of contacting Ferrell’s real estate firm, if you want to sell,” Larry hedged, his gaze noticeably shifting away from Buck’s.

  “What do you mean, if I want to sell?” Buck demanded, leaning forward on his arms until the back of the chair bit into his skin. “I just told you that’s exactly what I want to do. Do you have a problem with that?”

  “Yes. Er, no. There are…” Larry hesitated, once again glancing in Ellie’s direction. “Extenuating circumstances that may affect your decision to sell.”

  Buck could not imagine an extenuating circumstance that would make him change his mind on this, but he shrugged and nodded for Larry to continue.

  Larry blew out a breath and rushed on, his words falling on top of each other in his haste to spit the sentence out. “What you need to understand, Buck, is that you are currently sitting on the property in question. Quite literally.”

  It took Buck a moment to absorb Larry’s meaning, but then his eyes widened and he whistled his surprise, just before his racing heart took a nosedive into his stomach. “Mama bought this ranch? Ellie’s ranch?”

  Ellie cleared her throat and went back to leaning on the table, where she’d been earlier. She brushed a nervous hand over her long black hair, and her gaze darted randomly around the room. She looked everywhere but straight at Buck and took her time before speaking. “Technically, Buck, it’s your ranch.”

  Buck needed a minute to ingest all the information that had just been thrown at him. Mama had sold his childhood home to buy Ellie’s ranch.

  But why?

  Nothing made sense anymore.

  And where had his mother lived after the sale of their family home? Buck decided that was the first and most important question to be answered, so he stammered out an inquiry. “Wh-where did Mama live, then?”

  “Why, with me, of course,” Ellie answered immediately, her smile wavering as her gaze got distant and her eyes luminescent with moisture.

  “Ellie was the one who cared for your mother during her last days,” Larry added gently.

  Buck rubbed a hand against his jaw, which was starting to prickle with a day’s growth of beard. “I don’t know what to say.” He shook his head. “I—I guess thank you would be in order,” he said, nodding his head in Ellie’s direction. “I really had no idea. None at all.”

  “Of course you didn’t,” Ellie snapped and then took a deep breath in an apparent attempt to calm herself, though, from the flush on her face, Buck didn’t think it was working. “No one expected you to, Buck,” Ellie continued. “As we already indicated, Mama Esther wanted it to be this way. I’m sure she had her reasons.”

  Buck’s mind was racing. Ellie rented this ranch—this Christian therapy ranch, which Buck had personally thought was just a fancy term for a tourist trap—from his mother. And Mama had lived with Ellie. Ellie, not Buck, had been the one to care for his mother during her illness.

  Here.

  Right where he was sitting.

  He looked around, narrowing his gaze as he realized—now that he was paying attention to such things—that he did recognize some of the furniture and knickknacks as his mother’s. He blew out a breath. He really must have had his head in the clouds, shadowed by grief, to
have missed such an obvious conclusion. His guilt and shame at the loss of his mother were obscuring his judgment much more than he had realized.

  Ellie watched the mix of emotions crossing Buck’s face as he took in all this new information—hurt, anger, grief and confusion warring for prominence. She said a silent prayer for the man she’d once loved with her whole heart.

  “You don’t have to make any decisions today,” Larry informed Buck. Larry stood and gave Buck’s shoulder a conciliatory pat. “Take as much time as you need.”

  Buck flashed Ellie an apprehensive look, his pupils dilated and foggy, lending a grayish tenor to his eyes. He nodded slowly.

  “I guess I do need a little time,” he murmured, his voice ragged.

  Despite the feelings warring inside her, Ellie wanted to move to Buck’s side, to hug him. Just to hold him again, let him know he had a friend. But she wasn’t sure how he’d take it, so she didn’t move from where she leaned against the tabletop. She clasped her hands tightly to the table edge to keep from launching herself at him.

  “I’m going to get out of here and give you two a bit of privacy,” Larry continued, his voice as low and compassionate as always. “I’m sure you have a lot to discuss. Let me know when you’ve reached a definitive decision regarding the ranch, Buck, and we’ll go from there.”

  Ellie slipped into the chair vacated by Larry, thinking it would be better to be seated directly across from Buck. She wasn’t sure Buck was ready to talk about anything, but as Larry had indicated, she and Buck had a lot to say to each other—providing Buck was willing to listen to the whole story and did not just write her off without an explanation.

  Ellie felt badly about not informing Buck of his mother’s decisions earlier. In hindsight, she decided it had been wrong not to contact Buck immediately when his mother had become ill. But so much had happened so fast. Ellie hadn’t had the time to think things through.

  And Mama Esther had asked her to remain silent, wanting to tell Buck herself in her own time.

  But as it had turned out, Esther hadn’t had that time, and Buck had been hit over the head with what must feel to him like a good-size boulder.

  “I’m sorry, Buck,” she apologized sympathetically, realizing she’d already said that but not knowing how else to start the conversation.

  Buck buried his head in his hands with a groan and refused to look at her.

  “Do you have a headache?” she asked softly, her fingers twitching with the need to reach for him. “I have some aspirin in the medicine cabinet I could get for you.”

  Buck groaned again, louder this time. “No, thank you. I feel like my head is going to explode, but I don’t think aspirin is going to help.”

  He looked up at her and almost smiled, the corner of his lip twitching upward just the slightest bit. It gave Ellie hope, even that hint of a smile. She smiled broadly in return, hoping he could grasp the compassion she felt for him.

  “I don’t think anything will help me right now,” he said with a shake of his head, which then made him wince as if in agony—which he probably was, emotionally, at any rate, Ellie thought.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Do I have a choice?” he grumbled.

  So much for hope.

  Ellie’s heart dipped into her stomach, which tightened painfully. “We don’t have to talk right now,” she assured him, keeping her tone soft despite a rising sense of alarm, which was pealing like bells in her head. “Like Larry said, you can take as much time as you need. I’m sure you have a lot to work out in your own mind before you can even remotely consider a decision.”

  Buck stared at her, his emerald green eyes wide, but said nothing.

  Ellie clasped her hands in front of her. “Or maybe you’ve already made your decision.”

  “Ellie,” Buck said slowly, “you know that what Larry told me changes everything.”

  Ellie lifted an eyebrow. “Oh? In what way?”

  She’d half expected him to toss her out on her ear and take the ranch over right away. He had the legal right to do just that. There were no formal rental agreements on the ranch. It wasn’t that kind of relationship.

  Mama Esther had very much been a mother to her, especially these past few years.

  “Ellie, I’m not going to take your home away from you,” Buck said as if he’d read her mind. “At least not right away, I won’t.”

  “You must have had plans,” she responded. “For the money, I mean.”

  “Plans,” Buck repeated. “Yeah. Right. Plans.” He paused and shifted, leaning heavily on the back of the chair. “I really don’t know what to do now.”

  “It’s entirely your decision, Buck,” Ellie assured him, even if inwardly she felt like begging him to spare her ministry. “This is your ranch now.

  “I know you said you would consider selling to me, but I’m in no position to buy.”

  “To be honest, now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m not positive I want to sell,” he said frankly. “I can’t see myself moving back to Ferrell, but the divorce wiped out my savings. It’s something to think on.”

  All the more reason Ellie could and would not ask for favors, which left Ellie with nothing except the possibility of Buck coming back into her life on a permanent basis. She didn’t know how to feel about that.

  Not without him making some serious concessions to her, and she wouldn’t ask him for that.

  She stared out the west window, where the sun was setting, and suddenly had an idea she thought might help both of them. Maybe, just maybe, she could save her ministry after all. It was worth a shot, anyway.

  “Do you and Tyler have a place to stay while you’re in town?” she asked.

  Buck shook his head. “Nope. Planned to stay at the ranch.” He laughed, but it was a bitter sound. “Guess I should be looking for a hotel, huh?”

  “Absolutely not,” she said emphatically. “You two are most welcome to stay here at McBride’s. It is, after all, your property, Buck.”

  “I don’t want to impose,” he said gruffly, turning his gaze away from her.

  “Don’t be silly. There are plenty of guest rooms here. I often have clients stay over for the week.”

  Buck scoffed. “Like an overglorified bed-and-breakfast?” he guessed.

  Ellie bristled and clasped her hands tighter. “Not at all like a bed-and-breakfast. Actually, that’s part of the reason I’m asking you to stay.”

  “And what would that be?”

  “So I can show you what I do here. I thought maybe if you saw firsthand all the good work I’m doing here, you might….” She stopped herself from completing the sentence.

  “What am I going to see, Ellie?” Buck demanded, his voice now sounding irritated, if not downright angry. “That you sold out like the rest of the town? That you’re pulling in tourists who want to see what the country life is like for a day?”

  “You have no idea what I do here,” she snapped back, more offended than she could say.

  “So tell me,” he said, not sounding as if he was going to listen to her at all.

  Not really.

  “What makes you think this ranch is a tourist trap?” she demanded, suddenly defensive.

  “The whole town is a tourist trap now, isn’t it?” he replied bitterly.

  “That really bothers you, doesn’t it?”

  “Yep.”

  “Enough for you to leave town twenty years ago and never look back.”

  “Enough for me to leave,” he agreed, his voice not giving away a hint of emotion, other than perhaps irritation. “Even my own mother sold out.” He sighed. “Now tell me about this ranch. I’ve seen horses, chickens, goats, pigs, and I think I even saw a couple llamas out there in the field.”

  “Alpacas,” she corrected.

  “What I didn’t see was cattle, or a herd of horses. So what kind of a working ranch would that make this? It doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It will if you listen to me.”
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  “I’ll listen,” he replied testily. “I’m not going anywhere until I figure this out.”

  Buck had always been impatient, Ellie remembered, wanting to fix the problem rather than think about it. Ellie had complemented him, balanced his practical logic with her naturally emotional responses.

  But that was then. And this wasn’t going to be a quick-fix problem.

  “It’s a therapeutic ranch, Buck,” she said, thinking that should explain a lot.

  “Hmm. So it says on your sign.”

  “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”

  “Not a clue,” he admitted, the side of his lip curling up again. It half looked like a grimace, but Ellie knew Buck was trying, in his own way.

  “I work with children who have had some kind of trauma in their young lives, and some who are physically or mentally disabled in some way. Many times the families board here, as well.”

  “And you do what exactly with the children?” He arched an eyebrow, daring her without words to explain her work in a way that wouldn’t make him laugh.

  “Introduce them to the animals. Animals are wonderful therapy, Buck. Didn’t you see what Sophie did with your own son?”

  Buck scoffed. “That will last all of a half hour. Then he’ll be back to his old surly self.”

  “Perhaps,” Ellie agreed. “But over time, kids bond with the animals. The goats and pigs and such help calm the children. Some learn to ride the horses. It helps them open up emotionally, connecting with the animals.”

  “Sounds like tourist hogwash to me.”

  That wasn’t the answer Ellie was hoping for. She folded her arms in an instinctively defensive posture and glared at him. “It’s a ministry, thank you very much. At least give it a chance,” she said testily.

  To her surprise, Buck nodded. “Maybe,” he said in a soft, gruff voice. “I do believe I owe you the opportunity to show me what you do here—keeping in mind that I don’t believe a word you’re saying, of course.”

  Ellie shrugged and smoothed down the edges of her black knit dress. “That could change.”

  Buck barked out a short, crisp laugh that didn’t sound the least bit cheerful. Ellie thought he might be making fun of her, with the twisted grin he gave her.